Monthly Archives: August 2010

Exorcise your Chat Roulette

I was writing up a post when my wife grabs me and asks me to watch this YouTube video of people being freaked out on Chatroulette by a possessed chick. Anyway, it’s freakin’ insane how creative these marketing guys are becoming, and this is one of the best ad campaigns I’ve seen all year. Anyway, check it out!

So yeah, that’s kinda disturbing. And now for another disturbing image, check this still from the upcoming flick.

FYI: I also suffer from chronic lower back pain


Rock Band of the Future!

DX and I have an unabashed love for this guy named Freddie Wong, who pretty much makes all the insane and awesome videos we wished we could’ve made ourselves. I personally first noticed him as a crazy Guitar Hero player, and kinda hero-worshiped his skills for a bit. Now he’s making short films every week it seems, and they’re all pretty awesome.

Anyway, he just made a new one called Rock Band of the Future, and as usual it rocks hard.

Here’s a pic of Freddie during his Guitar Hero days.

The ajmazing Freddie Wong rocks Guitar Hero 2

Retro Review: Series 7 – The Contenders

Once upon a time, I used to go through all these indie flicks because I lived near a videostore that stocked a lot of random VHS movies. One of those random VHS flicks was this 2001 movie called Series 7. Basically, it’s put together like a marathon screening of a reality TV series called The Contenders where a bunch of random people are selected and they have to kill each other. It sounds ridiculous, right? But then again, a reality TV series like Jersey Shore also sounds ridiculous and a lot of people watch that show. And Series 7 comes pretty much during the height of the reality TV craze.

So the premise is that six strangers in a town are randomly selected in some lottery, and are given a gun and a cameraman. One of the six is the veteran contender who has won the last two seasons. If she wins this one, she gets to go free. And get this: she’s pregnant. The other contenders include a paranoid old guy who lives in a trailer, a old nurse, this ditzy teen, a pretentious artist who’s dying of cancer, and an unemployed bum. In each episode, they go around plotting to kill each other. And it rocks.

Pregnant and Psychotic

Why this movie rocks is because it sticks extremely closely to the reality TV format. If you were watching this on TV and not a DVD (or VHS as I originally watched it), you would be hard-pressed to doubt the authenticity of this show. The commercial breaks, the cheesy voice-overs, the random monologues when the contenders would just prattle about their life stories to the cameraman… it’s all exactly like a real TV show. And a good one too! The contenders were really well-acted, and have quirky personalities and backstories. One of my favorites is the teenager with the hyper-encouraging parents who strangely cheer her on to shoot an old man. Craaaazy! And there was that scene where her boyfriend wants her to give it up to him because she could die at any time and it’s a bad idea to die as a virgin. Priceless.

Don't leave home without your 12-guage.

But the real star of the show is Brooke Smith as the pregnant veteran Dawn Lagarto. She may not look like Angelina Jolie or Cate Blanchett, but she is a pretty fucking solid actress. Her character has the most screen-time and development and she makes the most of it. I’m kinda surprised that her career didn’t really take off after this movie, but then again, I guess it’s because she doesn’t look like Angelina Jolie or Cate Blanchett. But she does get pretty regular TV work, appearing in shows like Heist, Crossing Jordon and Grey’s Anatomy. Good for her, I say. She’s awesome!

This woman is creepy... really creepy

The pacing does get a bit slow in the middle (roughly the 3rd episode in the 5-episode marathon), but still I think this is one of those movies that really works when you got a bunch of friends over and wanna watch something just randomly fun and stupid.

Jane Austen + Zombies = Win

I love zombie movies. My wife Jo loves Jane Austen. Put them together, and you’ve got something pretty special. So last year some dude named Seth Grahame-Smith write this book called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Basically, it was a re-telling of the classic Jane Austen tale, except that in this particular timeline, zombies are rising all over England and Elizabeth Bennet was a warrior-lady who can cut down zombies without blinking. Full of win? Indeed it was.

Much to Mr Darcy's delight, Elizabeth was very flexible

So much full of win that a graphic novel was then put together. It was the graphic novel that my wife and I found at the book store, so that was what we read. Now I never read the original Pride and Prejudice because that book was thick enough to stop bullets, but I sure as hell can read a graphic novel, because pretty pictures pwn. And it was crazy funny, and the artwork by Cliff Richards (not the singing dude) was really good (though it was a bit of a shame that all the Bennet sisters kinda look alike, but then again you can say the same about Andy Kubert’s artwork circa X-men (If it wasn’t for the hair, could you really tell Rogue and Storm apart?).

That outfit is reminiscent of Mature from King of Fighters

Well I guess my wife and I aren’t the only ones who totally dig this concept, because lo and behold, the book is now being made into a movie, produced and starring Natalie Portman. I can imagine that I’m not the only guy who will be clamoring to see Natalie Portman slay some zombies. There’s also a videogame on the iPhone based on the property. It’s a side-scrolling beat ’em up, and I haven’t played it or anything, but I read moderately positive feedback for it.

Slice like a ninja, cut like Victorian wit

Anyway, do check out the comic if you can. It’s hilarious!

Top 5 Fight Scenes ever!

Recently, I scored a Jackie Chan DVD for an awesome $6. And it’s not just any Jackie Chan movie, but the Jackie Chan movie with my favorite fight scene of all time in it. Anyway, I figured since I got to relive that moment, let’s dig up my picks for the Top 5 best fight scenes of all time!

#5 – Hector vs Achilles (Troy)

It’s just not too often you get to see people fight with spears like this in movies, because it’s usually just fists and swords. So I figured I’d throw in a good spear fight, and they don’t get better than this one.

#4 – Blade vs Nomak (Blade 2)

There were a lot of good fight scenes in this movie, but this one really stuck out for me. It was the first time I saw CGI being seamlessly mixed in with live footage to display some really amazing over-the-top action. Nomak is flying high in the air to stomp on Blade, people are being flung around into high walls, and it never looked like the cheesy wire action in Hong Kong kungfu movies.

#3 – Michelle Yeoh vs that bitch-faced Asian actress that used to be famous (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon)

Here’s another weapons-based fight scene that really rocks: It’s Michelle Yeoh up against Zhang Ziyi, whom you may remember as being a potential A-lister before she fulfilled her true dreams of being a gold-digger. Dave had a major crush on her back then too. Anyway, the weapons in here are awesome. Zhang Ziyi has a pretty epic sword, and Michelle Yeoh has to use up half the armory to fight her. Plus it’s great to see her use so many different weapons in the same scene.

#2 – Jackie Chan vs his former bodyguard (Drunken Master II)

Okay, this probably should be the top spot, but this is my list and the other one has a special spot in my heart. Anyway, the Drunken Boxing style is fucking awesome because it’s so visual and looks great on film. The other guy has ridiculously long legs and kicks like a motherfucker. Plus he wears glasses… how often do you see a kungfu fighter wearing glasses? He’s also Jackie Chan’s former personal bodyguard, and if I could pick a bodyguard I’d probably go with that guy too.

#1 – Jackie Chan vs Mr Punchy & Mr Kicky (Who Am I?)

This final fight scene borrows a lot of elements from the Drunken Master scene, but I like this one better because it has him fighting against two hitmen. One of them punches a lot, and the other kicks a lot… and I dunno but I think that’s just so perfect for a final fight scene. It’s something out of a videogame. Plus it’s pretty funny too, and I love the little touches like how the Kickie guy starts take off his jacket and tie after watching his friend get his ass kicked. It doesn’t get more awesome than this. Especially for a mere $6.

I realize that Jackie Chan takes the top 2 spots and I’ve left Jet Li and Bruce Lee out, but like I said before, these are my favorites. If you guys have some suggestions, drop them into the comments below. I think you can even embed YouTube videos into them.

Jackie Chan's Who Am I

Jackie Chan vs Mr Kicky

Avril Kawaii-yo!

A couple of posts back, I compared Liz Phair to Avril Lavigne, which pissed quite a few music fans off. Apparently Avril Lavigne’s music is somewhat of a joke, right? She’s so pop and fake and everything that she must be the suckiest musician or even poseur in the world, right? Wrong!

Hey hey you you!

Firstly, I like Avril. That whole punk rocker chick thing might be a bit manufactured or contrived, but no less contrived than the leathers and spikes of some black metal band (except maybe Emperor, cos those guys are really psychotic). Secondly, Avril is respected enough by the Japanese to warrant a tribute album. No shit! Just check it out on Amazon.

Japan's tribute to Avril

So yeah… a Japanese tribute album. You don’t get much more street cred than that, right? Of course, if you read the customer reviews on Amazon, almost every person rips into the album. But that’s beside the point, right? Critics also complained about The Last Boy Scout, but we all know that it was one of the best movies of all time.

Anyway, Avril rocks. That’s pretty much all I have to say. Yeah, it’s not really much, but then again her lyrics don’t have much to say either, so it’s kinda appropriate.

Classic music video: Bon Jovi – Always

We were at a pub the other night listening to this cover band play, and suddenly they announced that they were gonna do a Bon Jovi song. I don’t know why, but I suddenly held my breath and hoped that they would play Always. And lo and behold, they did!

Carla Gugino, and a hat

Anyway, on top of being a classic pub song to cover, Always also has a pretty classic music video. I actually hadn’t seen it before, until DX pointed out that Carla Gugino was in it. Yeah, the hot mama from Spy Kids! So I went to check it out, and not only did it have Carla Gugino, but Keri Russell too. There’s even a guy that looks like “Sunshine” from Remember the Titans, but isn’t.

He paints a portrait of her… and then randomly takes off his shirt while doing so. So what else can she do, but take hers off too!

As a video, it’s a pretty standard affair: you’ve got a mini-story of Sunshine-lookalike happily dating Carla Gugino, then kinda cheats on her with their flatmate Keri Russell. So Carla runs off to some random art guy’s uber-cool warehouse studio loft, and he paints a portrait of her… and then randomly takes off his shirt while doing so. So what else can she do, but take hers off too! After that, they fuck, and she wakes up alone and feels all used. Sunshine-lookalike comes back, and then realizes what she did, and proceeds to – and this is where it gets really epic – trash the place, stab the painting, and then torch the entire building, complete with an explosion. Awesome! Oh, then he tries to grab a hologram.

Now I’ve got a few issues with this video though… who the fuck would cheat on Carla Gugino with Keri Russell? Don’t get me wrong… Keri Russell is not an unattractive woman by any standards, but it’s Carla Gugino! Who’d do that?

And is it just me or does every single person, male and female, have long hair in this video? Guitarist, lead singer, both females, Sunshine-lookalike, and even the random artist guy. The only people without long hair are the firemen and cops at the end. Then again, I had long hair too during the 90’s.

Random fact: This song was written by Bon Jovi for a movie called Romeo is Bleeding. But they watched the flick and hated it, so the song was shelved and forgotten. It probably would’ve remained unreleased had some random friend not listened to it and convinced him to release it in the Crossroads album. And it turned out to be their best-selling single.

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