Monthly Archives: November 2011

How to tell if you’re a creepy geek

Back in the day, nerds and geeks were just infinitely uncool. However, videogaming and comics have become so mainstream now that it’s quite okay to be a geek. Girls don’t mind dating geeks because it’s no longer so socially unacceptable, and it sure saves them a lot of money to have free tech support when their iPhone crashes.

But there will still be the geeks out there who still take geek culture a little bit too seriously, and go from being a little bit weird to being fucking messed up. These are the ones that nobody minds if they spend their entire life in a basement, playing World of Warcraft. These are the guys that are quite frankly, best left alone in said basement.

Don’t be this guy

How do you know when you’ve crossed the line from geeky to creepy? You might do some of the things below:

  1. After grouping with some girl in an MMO a couple of times and role-playing as brother and sister, you start telling everyone in real life that she really is your sister.
  2. Stalking people you meet in MMOs.
  3. Insisting that your friends and colleagues refer to you by your “cool” internet nickname, like MegaKill, CockFragger or Swordplay.
  4. You also have that nickname on your credit card.
  5. Reciting the creed of some fictional cult/superhero group/elite military unit before you go to bed at night.
  6. You cosplay as a character of opposite gender, and at conventions you allow yourself to get randomly groped by guys because “it’s in character”.
  7. Wearing a videogame or comic-related pendant around your neck because you honestly believe it gives you super-powers.
  8. You excessively play an MMO to the point where you eat and shit at your computer.
  9. Re-imagine yourself as being Japanese, and adopting a Japanese name for no apparent reason at all.
  10. Masturbating while cosplaying as a Japanese schoolgirl.
  11. Masturbating while cosplaying as a Japanese schoolgirl, while imagining that you’re being raped by demon tentacles.
  12. Speaking in a robot voice.
  13. Excessively modelling your behavior after the attributes of a organization from a videogame or comic.
  14. Getting unnecessarily offended and defensive when someone pokes fun at your videogame character.
  15. Going apeshit crazy when you are not picked as your favorite videogame’s biggest fan at a local contest, and then bitterly declaring that all the other contestants are “dishonorable pirates”.
  16. Communicating with your friends in a fanboy language, like Klingon, elvish, or Japanese.
  17. Insisting that your first date takes place in Blackrock Spire.
  18. When this video is your idea of true romance.
  19. Setting up an altar for your favorite videogame character and praying to it every day, with offerings and all.
  20. You’ve got an unhealthy obsession with My Little Pony.

And then there’s always this tell-tale video. If that’s you freaking out in the video, then you’re fucking creepy!


Titanic outlasts Kim Kardashian’s marriage

Well the big news is Kim Kardashian, reality TV star extraordinaire, has filed for divorce from Kris Humphries, Their mega-huge multi-million dollar wedding was only 72 days ago. That’s like, 10 weeks! I mean, that’s pretty ridiculous, even for celebrity standards.

Here’s a weigh-in:

  • Kim Kardashian’s marriage to Kris Humphries – 10 weeks
  • Britney Spears’ marriage to Jason Allen Alexander – 55 hours
  • Titanic’s theatrical run – 10 months
  • How long I’m probably going to play Arkham City for – probably 5 weeks

Like… wow! I guess maybe not all the Kardashians can stay happily married to NBA players. Kim should stick to NFL players, cos that whole Reggie Bush relationship lasted a lot longer, and the Kardashian sisters shouldn’t be typecast as NBA-daters.

Anyway, here’s a pic of Kim dressed as Poison Ivy for Halloween.

Kim Kardashian dressed as Poison Ivy

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