Stupid “Death by Water” scenes

It was raining lightly as I walked to work today, and as I dodged droplets of rain on my way to shelter, I realized how silly it was to avoid the rain, because it’s not going to kill me. My iPhone, maybe… but not me.

But while water might not have such an adverse reaction on me, I remembered that there were characters out there that are actually quite susceptible to water. Not holy water or acid, but regular normal water.

Sounds stupid, but read on!

1. The Alien from Signs

If you’re a race of aliens with a strong allergic reaction to water, would you invade a planet that is 70 percent water? If you’re conjured by the imagination of M Night Shyamalan, you would.

In a ridiculous twist of fate at the end of Signs, Joaquin Phoenix defeats an alien invader by smacking glasses of water onto him. Glasses of water conveniently left there by Abigail Breslin for a really weak reason.

Honestly, even if Joaquin hadn’t gotten his baseball bat and started smacking glasses of water on him, all the alien invaders would’ve had their skin melted away by rain. For a technologically advanced race, they’re not really geniuses are they?

“Let’s invade a planet that’s acidic to our flesh!”

2. Sub Zero

Here’s another stupid “death by water” prophecy scene: in the first Mortal Kombat movie, Liu Kang is repeatedly reminded by Kitana to “Use the element that brings life” to defeat his next opponent.

After a very boring fight scene (where their random wall flips and forward flips were more impressive than their sluggish kicks), Sub Zero starts to use his ice powers to slowly create a frost bubble field. I emphasize slowly, because not only did the whole set up take forever, but the field would grow at a snail’s pace. How is that field supposed to defeat anybody? A 3-legged dog could hobble away to safety and outrun that field!

Alas, Liu Kang doesn’t think to outrun the field and instead lies on his butt to nurse his elbow like a little girl. It takes Kitana to walk past and trigger a flashback voice-over before he has to audibly announce that he realizes that “WATER is the element that gives life” before flinging a conveniently located bucket of water at Sub Zero.

3. The Wicked Witch of the West

In the classic Wizard of Oz, Dorothy defeats the Wicked Witch by accidentally splashing water on her. There were no signs, no prophesies, no voice-over flashbacks from corset-wearing girls… there just happened to be a bucket of water conveniently lying around when Scarecrow was burning.

 

And guess what? Despite having no previous indications that the Wicked Witch was even slightly allergic to water, it melts her. The tiny splashes of water on her face melted her into nothing, as she exclaims “What a world!”

I know that in Wicked, it was all a ploy for Elphaba to escape from the totalitarian government, but still… the audiences in 1939 must have exclaimed a collective “WTF?” at that moment!

“I’m allergic to water? Since when?”

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About Drew

I love videogames, movies, my wife and my dog (in no particular order). View all posts by Drew

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